Ode.

To the girl who told me I would look ugly today after sleeping only 3.47 hours last night:  Don't underestimate the power of a tube of good mascara and a well-fitting herringbone skirt.

To the girl who haphazardly wore black lace tights the day after a diy pink glitter rockstar manicure: Not even herringbone can redeem that "office tramp" getup you've got going on.  Your twenty-three year old face may still look adequately bright and cheery after a night of little sleep and coat of Bad Gal Lash, but your ability to choose a work appropriate outfit is grossly diminished.  Sleep.  It does the body good.